The Namek Who Stole Christmas
by Perfect Tenshi
Summary: Read and Review! Sorry but it's a little late for Christmas.


"**The Namek Who Stole Christmas.**

Every _Earthling_

Down in _Earth_-ville

Liked Christmas a lot…

But the Namek, 

Who lived just north of _Earth_-ville, 

Did NOT!

The Namek _hated _Christmas! The whole Christmas season!

Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It _could_ be his head wasn't screwed on just right

(Maybe it didn't grow back right last time he regenerated).

It _could_ be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight 

(Those little pointy booties, ugh).

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But,

Whatever the reason,

His heart or his booty things,

He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the _Earthlings_,

Staring down from his waterfall with a sour, Piccoloish frown

At the warm lighted windows below in their town.

For he knew every _Earthling_ down in _Earth_-ville beneath

Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.

"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer.

"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"

Then he growled, with his Namek fingers nervously drumming,

"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"

For,

Tomorrow, he knew…

…All the _Earthling_ girls and boys

Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys! 

And _then!_ Oh, the noise! His poor ears! Oh that Noise!

That's _one_ thing he hated! The NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the _Earthlings,_ young and old, would sit down to a feast.

And they'd feast! _And they'd feast!_

And they'd FEAST!

FEAST!

FEAST!

FEAST!

They would feast on _Earth_-pudding, and rare _Earth_-roast-beast

Which was something the Namek couldn't stand in the least!

And THEN

They'd do something

He liked least of all!

Every _Earthling_ down in _Earth_-ville, the tall and the small,

Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.

They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the _Earthlings_ would start singing!

They'd sing! _And they'd sing!_

AND they'd SING! SING! SING! SING!

And the more the Namek thought of this _Earth_-Christmas-Sing,

The more the Namek thought, "I must stop this whole thing!

"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!

"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming!

…_But HOW?"_

Then he got an idea!

__

An awful idea!

THE NAMEK

GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

"I know _just _what to do!" The Namek laughed in his throat.

And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.

And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Piccoloish trick!

"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"

"All I need is a reindeer…"

The Namek looked around.

But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.

Did that stop the old Namek…?

No! The Namek simply said,

"If I can't _find_ a reindeer, I'll _make_ one instead!"

So he caught a dino, and named it Wax. Then he took some red thread

And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.

THEN

He loaded some bags

And some old empty sacks

On a ramshackle sleigh

And he hitched up new Wax.

Then the Namek said, "Giddap!"

And the sleigh started down

Toward the homes where the _Earthlings_

Lay a-snooze in their town.

All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.

All the _Earthlings_ were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.

When he came to the first little house on the square.

"This is stop number one," the old Nameky Claus hissed.

And he flew to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney. Trying not to stick.

But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Namek.

He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.

Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.

Where the little _Earth _stockings all hung in a row.

"These stockings," he grinned (showing his fangs), "are the _first _things to go!"

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,

Around the whole room, and he took every present!

Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!

Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Namek, very nimbly,

Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimbly!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the _Earthlings' _feast!

He took the _Earth_-pudding! He took the roast beast!

He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.

Why, that Namek even took their last can of _Earth_-hash!

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.

"And NOW!" grinned the Namek, "I will stuff up the tree!"

And the Namek grabbed the tree, and he started to shove

When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

He turned around fast, and he saw a small _Earthling!_

Little Gohan Son _Earth, _who had started to sing.

The Namek had been caught by this tiny _Earth _son

Who'd got out of bed for a drink and a bun.

He stared at the Namek and said "Santy Claus, why,

"_Why_ are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"

But, you know, that old Namek was so smart and so slick

He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

"Why, you nasty young kid," the fake Santy Claus lied,

"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side.

"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, you brat.

"I'll fix it up there, and _then _bring it back."

And his fib fooled the child. Then he whacked his thick head

And got him a drink and bun, and sent him to bed.

And when Gohan Son _Earth_ went to bed with his stuff,

HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Then the _last_ thing he took

Was the log by the fire!

Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.

On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.

And the one speck of food

That he left in the house

Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Then

He did the _same_ thing

To the _other Earthlings' _houses

Leaving crumbs

Much too small

For the other _Earthlings' _mouses!

It was quarter past dawn…

All the _Earthlings,_ still a-bed,

All the _Earthlings,_ still a-snooze

When he packed up his sled,

Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!

The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!

Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,

He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!

"Pooh-Pooh to the _Earthlings!" _he was namek-ish-ly humming.

"They're finding out mow that no Christmas is coming!

"They're just waking up! I know _just_ what they'll do!

"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two

"Then the _Earthlings _down in _Earth_-ville will all cry BOO-HOO!

"That's a noise," grinned the Namek,

"That I simply MUST hear!"

So he paused. And the Namek put his hand to his ear.

And he _did _hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started in low. Then it started to grow…

But the sound wasn't _sad!_

Why, this sound sounded _merry!_

It _couldn't _be so!

But it WAS merry! VERY!

He pulled off his ears!

Grew them back whit a pop!

Bit _it was still there!_

That nasty old shock!

He stared down at _Earth_-ville!

The Namek shaded his eyes!

Then he shook!

What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every _Earthling _down in _Earth_-ville, the tall and the small,

Was singing! Without any presents at all!

He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming!

IT CAME!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Namek, with his bootied feet ice-cold in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How _could_ it be so?

"It came without ribbons! It cam without tags!

"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"

And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.

__

Then the Namek thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "_doesn't _come from a store.

"Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!"

And what happened _then_…?

Well…in _Earth_-ville they say

That the Namek's small heart

Grew three sizes that day!

And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,

He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light

And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast! 

And he…

…HE HIMSELF…!

__

The Namek carved the roast beast!

(And as you know, Nameks don't eat.)"

Gohan shut the book with a snap and stood up to tiptoe out of the room, as Goten had just fallen asleep. Chi-Chi was waiting outside with a smile. Gohan leaned in to whisper at her.

"Hey, mom, he loved the book!"

"Yes, who would have known that Dende was such a good author."

"Yeah…"

Dende, up on the lookout, blushed at the praise. Piccolo, next to him, snorted.

"Where did you come up with such a ridiculous storyline? I hardly even know what Christmas is, let alone care!"

"Y-yeah, well, Earthlings like it!"

"You mean, the few Z-senshi who've read it."

"Umm… Yeah!"

"I still don't get it, but oh well."

He turned and walked back inside, shaking his head all the way.


End file.
